(no subject)

[fabrisse]

John F. Kennedy made a momentous decision on his 44th birthday (May 29, 1961). This is the day that several memoirs confirm that he made the final decision to send 300 advisors to South Viet Nam, officially beginning the undeclared Vietnam War.

There were reasons. NSC 68 had established "The Domino Theory" to contain Communism as official U.S. Policy. Now, two presidents later, there was a Communist threat from Ho Chi Minh. Eisenhower had warned against this type of involvement and had warned against involvement in Viet Nam specifically.

Moreover, Ho Chi Minh knew US tactics inside out. We'd trained him in his fight against the French in the early 1950s Indochina War.

Kennedy's decision was implemented immediately. Within two weeks of that decision a group of men were being taught Vietnamese at the Army Language School in Monterey; four weeks afterwards, they were on their way to train South Vietnamese troops (and in some cases lead them in battle).

My father was one of these advisors. He got the call with new orders as we were coming into the house on June 1. Ten days later we were at Monterey. My mother had packed a house and looked after a newborn at the same time. As a former stewardess, she was thrilled to be riding in her first jet for the trip between Seattle and San Francisco.

Mid-May of the following year, my father was rotated home in order to become an area specialist on South and Southeast Asia. His biggest memory of getting off the planes was seeing his eleven month old daughter raising walking up the tarmac to the plane, raising her arms to the men in uniform and asking for her Daddy.

He was there for my first birthday, but Viet Nam meant that he never saw my first step or heard my first words. Ironically, when my sister was ten months old, we were evacuated from Viet Nam. While he had the first ten months with Sis, he also missed her first words and first steps. There's very little about his military career that makes him bitter, but missing these moments with both daughters is one of them.

I have a lot to honor both my parents for. Mom went through ten months of my first year alone. Her parents were near by, but their help was minimal. Other than clothes, I've been told. For my first year nearly every piece of clothing I owned was sewn by Grandma.

Mom read the newspaper out loud so I wouldn't be bored. She nursed in an era when it was frowned upon. (My father's stepmother actually asked her, "How can you do something so unnatural?") I can't imagine how trapped she must have felt by my constant presence.

Today, I'm 44.

Comments

[rhiannonhero.livejournal.com]

Fabi, I hope that you are having a better day. It is sad to see that your mood is melancholy on your birthday. I wish you joy. I wish you so much joy.

[fabrisse.livejournal.com]

Thank you, my dear. It's been an odd day. But melancholy's not necessarily bad. And I think things are beginning to clear for me.

[jdulac.livejournal.com]

Wishing you well... birthdays usually cause me melancholy relections, too. But you are resilient, and I wish you a brighter future.

[fabrisse.livejournal.com]

I appreciate it more than I can say. I hope all is well with you and yours.

[pamelina.livejournal.com]

Since it's pretty clear wishing you a standard happy birthday is silly under the circumstances, I'll just wish your birthday brings you more insights and wisdom like you're displaying above.

[fabrisse.livejournal.com]

I can live with wisdom. *g*

Thank you for your kind wish. I hope you're doing well.

[moria923.livejournal.com]

I, too, am sorry to hear you were melancholy on your birthday.

Your dad's stepmother thought nursing was unnatural? How did she think the species made it until bottles and formula were invented?

I love and miss you.

[fabrisse.livejournal.com]

We've never been sure about Ora's ideas on anything. But yes, she thought nursing was unnatural.

I miss you, too.

Superstitious as it might be, my "If today is your birthday" horoscope was good, so I'm hopeful. Also, I was prayed over at church.

[aizjanika.livejournal.com]

Today, I'm 44.

Happy birthday. (It's all I've got.) I'm 44, too, but not today (or...yesterday?).

I can't imagine how trapped she must have felt by my constant presence.

I never felt trapped by my children's constant presence. One of the reasons we homeschooled was because I enjoyed the presence of my children... I don't know you or your mom, but I just wanted to point out that not everyone feels "trapped" by having a family, and maybe she didn't either (unless she's said so, in which case...never mind *g*). Even when my husband was away, I never felt trapped. I felt empowered, really. I hope that your mom did, too.

Being a military family can certainly be a challenge for all family members, though.

[fabrisse.livejournal.com]

Mom has flat out said that if it were acceptable in her generation not to have children, she wouldn't have. She'd been head stewardess at United, which may not sound like much but was, at that time, the only female executive slot. She made three times what Dad did when they married and had to quit to do it because in those days stewardesses were forbidden to marry.

The three major separations during Dad's tours in Vietnam were the toughest times.

It sounds like your kids have a good mother who wants to be there for them.

Thanks for the birthday wishes.

[siderea]

She'd been head stewardess at United

Waitaminit. When was she head stewardess at United?

'Cause I just flew United, and in their "Hemispheres" magazine there was an article about the history of stewardessing and how it was founded by United. She wasn't their ur-stewardess (I can't remember her name, but know she's dead) but she must have been pretty early in the field, considering when you were born.

[fabrisse.livejournal.com]

Mom was head stewardess for just over a year in the late 1950s. She'd been an instructor at the United stewardess school and moved over to Allegheny as their head stewardess for a couple of years before coming back to United.

[breeamal.livejournal.com]

Two tears in a bucket...

Happy Birthday

[fabrisse.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

I didn't mean to make anyone cry.

[breeamal.livejournal.com]

Oh darlin, you didn't, you just reminded me of an old southern saying, "Two tears in a bucket, motherfuckit."

Perfect for those parts of your life you mourn, but are ready to move past. You cried your tears, maybe two, maybe a bucketful, but fuckit. It's past and the future beckons.

[fabrisse.livejournal.com]

I like it. With Grandpa being a Baptist minister and all, we didn't get that particular southernism while growing up. *G*

A beckoning future sounds pretty good.

[siderea]

He got the call with new orders as we were coming into the house on June 1.

We? He got the call as his first born child -- you -- was crossing the threshhold for the first time?

[fabrisse.livejournal.com]

Yes. They heard the phone ringing as we came up the walk. I took my first flight ten days later.

Without military orders, I wouldn't have been allowed on the plane. In those days they required that a child be at least three months old before flying.

I was six weeks old when he left for Viet Nam for the first time. As you know, the whole family went on the second tour when I was three. We were evacuated before I turned four which is why he missed seeing Sis's first steps.