Mom

[fabrisse]

This is going to be updated a few times today.

The palliative care specialist poked her head in and we had a brief conversation. It's the first time anyone's said no hope for recovery, but within that, there's still hope for some more time.

Quality of life is the big thing. With the help of Tricare for Life (essentially a Medicare supplement for military) we can do a great deal at home. No matter what, I'm going to be the primary carer: in all ways if she opts for home care, in more limited ways if she opts for a facility. I think home care is for the best, but Sis, based on our dinner conversation last night, is leaning the other way. Honestly, I think having the dogs around could be good for Mom.

UPDATE: Mom prefers to go home and it is the less expensive option.

Comments

[siderea]

Oh, hon, I'm so sorry.

Given what you just posted about the physical layout of the house, is it even safe for her to be there? What if she needs to go to the hospital again? Given her paralysis, will she need a wheelchair?

To answer your question about the ADA, it doesn't apply to private residences. Not even new construction.

[mecurtin]

Care will need to be 24/7, and that's too much in-home with this level of disability. I know. My mom did it, but she wasn't as disabled, and it was still extremely taxing on everybody. You'll spend a lot of time at the facility, and you can discuss dog visits with them. But it will destroy you if you can't get away.

[kathmandu]

My heart goes out to you.

Yes, the dogs and familiarity will be good.

If there are any sources of visiting care - visiting home-makers, visiting nurse, respite care - those will help.

[neotoma]

I'm sorry; this is so hard.

[dewline]

We had that conversation back in October 2020 here where I live. My mother ended up in care anyway.

Still...I hear you.

[fabrisse]

*hugs