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fabrisseLast week, Mom, Sis, and I went up to Blacksburg, VA (home of Virginia Tech) to see my paternal uncle and his only daughter who lives on the west coast, but was visiting. His son, who is currently living in Germany visited, too and we got to have breakfast with him and his wife and without everyone else which was good.
Uncle will be 92 in December. He has had a stroke, but recovered well from it -- well enough that the Commonwealth of Virginia thinks he can still drive. His wife, who is about a decade older than I am (in other words, early 70s), has some form of senility that everyone is calling Alzheimers. (It probably is, but I am very aware that there are multiple ways for the brain to go a little kaka and most of them can't be definitely diagnosed without an autopsy.)
The problem is that Uncle just keeps saying, "She's not that bad." The fact that the rest of us notice that she's worse every time we see her and will tell him that when he asks doesn't stop his litany.
She can answer the phone, but she can't dial out or take a message. Social cues are difficult for her to decipher and virtually impossible with more than three other people in the room. Our first night in Blacksburg, I asked her if she wanted to sit out on the porch with me for awhile. I had a bad cough the next day and stepped away from the family rather than risk it being something catching. Apparently, no one else thought to do something similar, and she had a big blow-up when she was overwhelmed.
We managed a nice dinner in Roanoke while everyone was together. We had some more time with my only girl cousin after the son and his wife winged their way back to Stuttgart, too.
Then we drove from the mountain to the Tidewater region and spent the night in Tappahanock before going to church at my grandfather's old parish (he was their minister through the Great Depression and WWII). It was nice. There were a couple of people in their 80s who remembered my father and grandfather.
In both directions we broke the drive in North Carolina. From Tappahanock, we stayed the night in Fayetteville before coming home.
The eventful night was the previous Tuesday when we stopped at the Biltmore Estate in Asheville, NC. We didn't go into the Biltmore because it was $85 per person. We didn't even get to see the estate from a distance because the gates are set up to prevent it. However, since the estate is bigger than DC, we were able to see the farm and two of the hotels. We stayed the night at the cheaper one and had a really lovely meal at the expensive one.
When we got to the hotel, we unloaded the bags onto a cart and let Mom go ahead to the room to use the restroom. I navigated the cart to the room, and Sis parked the car.
I went to use the bathroom, and Mom went to lie down for an hour before we needed to get dressed and go to the restaurant.
The bed was high; the slick sheets were pulled taut. She slipped off of them and hit her head on the two shelves between the beds. She yelled.
There was a great deal of blood which I saw as soon as I ran out of the bathroom. I tried to call the front desk, but there was no dial tone. I zipped up my trousers and ran to the front desk. They got a security guard trained in first aid to the room very quickly.
Sis was somewhat disoriented by this. Mom and I have deep voices, but nowhere near as deep as the one she was hearing. She thought she'd gotten the room number wrong until she heard my voice. It had taken her just under 5 minutes to park the car and come back.
The EMTs wanted to take Mom to the hospital, but we have long believed that good meals take precedence. We made our dinner reservation -- it was genuinely excellent food -- and took Mom to the E.R. afterward.
[The menu is here if anyone is interested: https://www.biltmore.com/restaurant/the-dining-room/menu/#menu06 I had the she-crab soup which was nice, the heirloom tomato risotto which was surprisingly rich, and the blueberry tres leches (without the bacon crisp, of course) which was one of the best desserts I have ever had.]
Mom ended up with a tetanus shot which has left a huge bruise on her arm. Thank heavens, she's no longer on the heavy duty blood thinners, or I can't imagine what her arm would look like. The CAT scan showed no pressure in the skull or any kind of brain bleed, so it was safe for her to sleep. We were at the E.R. for over three hours.
The next morning, the front desk said "I hope you enjoyed your stay!" I explained the many ways in which I had NOT enjoyed it beginning with the fact that the accessible room which I'd requested hadn't been provided.
When we got back there was a message from the hotel manager saying that they'd cut the room's price by half.
How nice.
Uncle will be 92 in December. He has had a stroke, but recovered well from it -- well enough that the Commonwealth of Virginia thinks he can still drive. His wife, who is about a decade older than I am (in other words, early 70s), has some form of senility that everyone is calling Alzheimers. (It probably is, but I am very aware that there are multiple ways for the brain to go a little kaka and most of them can't be definitely diagnosed without an autopsy.)
The problem is that Uncle just keeps saying, "She's not that bad." The fact that the rest of us notice that she's worse every time we see her and will tell him that when he asks doesn't stop his litany.
She can answer the phone, but she can't dial out or take a message. Social cues are difficult for her to decipher and virtually impossible with more than three other people in the room. Our first night in Blacksburg, I asked her if she wanted to sit out on the porch with me for awhile. I had a bad cough the next day and stepped away from the family rather than risk it being something catching. Apparently, no one else thought to do something similar, and she had a big blow-up when she was overwhelmed.
We managed a nice dinner in Roanoke while everyone was together. We had some more time with my only girl cousin after the son and his wife winged their way back to Stuttgart, too.
Then we drove from the mountain to the Tidewater region and spent the night in Tappahanock before going to church at my grandfather's old parish (he was their minister through the Great Depression and WWII). It was nice. There were a couple of people in their 80s who remembered my father and grandfather.
In both directions we broke the drive in North Carolina. From Tappahanock, we stayed the night in Fayetteville before coming home.
The eventful night was the previous Tuesday when we stopped at the Biltmore Estate in Asheville, NC. We didn't go into the Biltmore because it was $85 per person. We didn't even get to see the estate from a distance because the gates are set up to prevent it. However, since the estate is bigger than DC, we were able to see the farm and two of the hotels. We stayed the night at the cheaper one and had a really lovely meal at the expensive one.
When we got to the hotel, we unloaded the bags onto a cart and let Mom go ahead to the room to use the restroom. I navigated the cart to the room, and Sis parked the car.
I went to use the bathroom, and Mom went to lie down for an hour before we needed to get dressed and go to the restaurant.
The bed was high; the slick sheets were pulled taut. She slipped off of them and hit her head on the two shelves between the beds. She yelled.
There was a great deal of blood which I saw as soon as I ran out of the bathroom. I tried to call the front desk, but there was no dial tone. I zipped up my trousers and ran to the front desk. They got a security guard trained in first aid to the room very quickly.
Sis was somewhat disoriented by this. Mom and I have deep voices, but nowhere near as deep as the one she was hearing. She thought she'd gotten the room number wrong until she heard my voice. It had taken her just under 5 minutes to park the car and come back.
The EMTs wanted to take Mom to the hospital, but we have long believed that good meals take precedence. We made our dinner reservation -- it was genuinely excellent food -- and took Mom to the E.R. afterward.
[The menu is here if anyone is interested: https://www.biltmore.com/restaurant/the-dining-room/menu/#menu06 I had the she-crab soup which was nice, the heirloom tomato risotto which was surprisingly rich, and the blueberry tres leches (without the bacon crisp, of course) which was one of the best desserts I have ever had.]
Mom ended up with a tetanus shot which has left a huge bruise on her arm. Thank heavens, she's no longer on the heavy duty blood thinners, or I can't imagine what her arm would look like. The CAT scan showed no pressure in the skull or any kind of brain bleed, so it was safe for her to sleep. We were at the E.R. for over three hours.
The next morning, the front desk said "I hope you enjoyed your stay!" I explained the many ways in which I had NOT enjoyed it beginning with the fact that the accessible room which I'd requested hadn't been provided.
When we got back there was a message from the hotel manager saying that they'd cut the room's price by half.
How nice.
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Date: 2023-07-07 11:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2023-07-08 05:48 pm (UTC)