(no subject)

The first and most important step toward success is the feeling that we can succeed.

- Nelson Boswell

This came as my inspirational message today. I know some of it's time of the month. Some of it's heat and humidity. But I just don't know that I can succeed. The last taste of success I had was the dinner parties I used to have at Waldeck Street.

I guess the cassoulet and carbonade flamande I made for thorbol last year would count too. And I did make a nice meal for new year's day and took at least some of my usual treats to the Buttery on New Year's Eve.

But those were just friends coming over to eat. Sometimes that included helping me cook or cleaning afterwards, but mostly it was just conviviality and a slightly more elaborate meal than I'd cook on a week night.

I don't qualify as a line cook. I can't find work as a secretary -- and I can be a terrific secretary, a regular Della Street. I can't find temp work. I can't find a permanent job.

The ideal job for me right now would be as a secretary to a few people at a university. I've been secretary to three different Deans and all of them liked my work. My main reason for wanting a university position is so that I can take classes -- maybe work for an advanced degree. At a university it would be part of my benefits package that I'd have either a reduced rate or a certain number of free credits. Things could move more quickly.

I still haven't heard from several of the jobs I've put in for, but every time I do hear, it's a negative.

Sorry for the self-pity. I'm just down.

(no subject)

I just received a letter informing me of another job that I didn't get. It was one that I really wanted, too.

I have found the website for government jobs in the City of Eugene and the state of Oregon. I've filled in all the basic information and have already applied for two more jobs. It's the supplemental questions that take time.

I guess I have to take that as my accomplishment for the day.