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Bad Weekend
Jun. 23rd, 2020 01:26 pmFather's Day hit me harder than expected. At the same time, I learned that a cousin (Gee) has six months or less to live. The moral of that story being if you have persistent symptoms, even if they aren't inconveniencing you, see the doctor. Hell, just have an annual or biannual physical which Gee hadn't done for at least 5 years.
Technically, Gee's in my mother's generation, but she's 18 years younger than my mother and only 14 years older than my sister. She and Sis have become buddies and they're going on one last trip to a casino as soon as it's possible. My other cousin (whom I shall dub silver for her beautiful hair), her older sister who's only three-ish years younger than my mother, will also have to deal with it.
Silver takes duty toward family seriously, but is also easily put out of shape by things that aren't meant to hurt her. Two issues are causing Silver to be butthurt at the moment. One is that Gee prefers her step-daughter to come with her to the doctor's appointments. This is because said step-daughter is a nursing student currently working as a home health aide. Or as Gee said to Mom -- "I don't need two old brains in the room, and I need someone who understands all the jargon that doctors use." The other is that even though Silver is an attorney, Gee preferred someone else to draw up the will.
There are a couple of reasons for this -- one is that Silver and Gee divided an inheritance from one of their aunts (Could be one of my aunts, too, but hard to say.). Gee wants to leave things to the people she wants to have them and Silver, bless her heart, is likely to think everything from that aunt should come to her.
The other is that Silver likes to gossip about family. I doubt she's ever violated client confidentiality. There are many things to be said against her, but diligence in pursuit of her duty is not one of them. But we all worry a little bit about where Silver draws the mental line between clients, for whom lips are buttoned tightly, and family, who are subjects of gossip.
Silver came to my Dad's funeral. She drove up from Texas to attend on short notice. Sis confiscated her camera at the viewing, but offered to share any photos we had. And my friend Elle, who also attended on short notice, found a diplomatic way to draw her into the conversation in another room so that my Uncle, cousins, and mother could have time with the body before the casket was closed.
Silver just kept touching Dad. They weren't close. Sis was ready to bodily drag her away. I'm the only person in the immediate family who can talk to Silver for long periods of time without my voice rising -- Dad could do it, but as I got older I'd spell him. She doesn't make herself likable. When her sister dies, she'll be the last one left of her generation in that line of the family.
As an older sister, I plan to reach out to her and offer support. As someone who nearly screamed at her at my father's funeral -- she couldn't believe that none of us cried and was vocal about it -- I'm not sure I want to. But if it were Sis in that position, I know I'd want someone to talk to. I think I've burned fewer bridges with family and friends than she has.
All those father's day ads were bad. Finding out about Gee was worse. Knowing that I'll need to be strong for Sis and for Silver is tearing me up.
Technically, Gee's in my mother's generation, but she's 18 years younger than my mother and only 14 years older than my sister. She and Sis have become buddies and they're going on one last trip to a casino as soon as it's possible. My other cousin (whom I shall dub silver for her beautiful hair), her older sister who's only three-ish years younger than my mother, will also have to deal with it.
Silver takes duty toward family seriously, but is also easily put out of shape by things that aren't meant to hurt her. Two issues are causing Silver to be butthurt at the moment. One is that Gee prefers her step-daughter to come with her to the doctor's appointments. This is because said step-daughter is a nursing student currently working as a home health aide. Or as Gee said to Mom -- "I don't need two old brains in the room, and I need someone who understands all the jargon that doctors use." The other is that even though Silver is an attorney, Gee preferred someone else to draw up the will.
There are a couple of reasons for this -- one is that Silver and Gee divided an inheritance from one of their aunts (Could be one of my aunts, too, but hard to say.). Gee wants to leave things to the people she wants to have them and Silver, bless her heart, is likely to think everything from that aunt should come to her.
The other is that Silver likes to gossip about family. I doubt she's ever violated client confidentiality. There are many things to be said against her, but diligence in pursuit of her duty is not one of them. But we all worry a little bit about where Silver draws the mental line between clients, for whom lips are buttoned tightly, and family, who are subjects of gossip.
Silver came to my Dad's funeral. She drove up from Texas to attend on short notice. Sis confiscated her camera at the viewing, but offered to share any photos we had. And my friend Elle, who also attended on short notice, found a diplomatic way to draw her into the conversation in another room so that my Uncle, cousins, and mother could have time with the body before the casket was closed.
Silver just kept touching Dad. They weren't close. Sis was ready to bodily drag her away. I'm the only person in the immediate family who can talk to Silver for long periods of time without my voice rising -- Dad could do it, but as I got older I'd spell him. She doesn't make herself likable. When her sister dies, she'll be the last one left of her generation in that line of the family.
As an older sister, I plan to reach out to her and offer support. As someone who nearly screamed at her at my father's funeral -- she couldn't believe that none of us cried and was vocal about it -- I'm not sure I want to. But if it were Sis in that position, I know I'd want someone to talk to. I think I've burned fewer bridges with family and friends than she has.
All those father's day ads were bad. Finding out about Gee was worse. Knowing that I'll need to be strong for Sis and for Silver is tearing me up.
