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Nov. 8th, 2004 10:30 pmIt is kind and polite to offer one's seat on public transportation to someone who's older, more injured, or more pregnant than you are. It's a truism of polite society, and should be practiced by all of us.
However, when the blind lady doesn't want your seat, it's impolite to insist. As a matter of fact, if you are in a situation where you think someone needs help, ask them.
This is coming up because a friend of mine, whom I'll call Emma for this journal -- those of you who are local will know whom I mean and the rest have a name to hang a story on, came into work today pretty upset. Please understand, Emma's not some frail little flower. She's tall and large. Someone decided that she needed to sit on the T. They didn't ask her. They came up behind her, put their hands on both her shoulders and tried to propel her to a free seat.
Emma screamed bloody murder, as well she should, and heard the age old mantra, "But I was only trying to help."
Think about it. If it could be booked as assault if you did it to a sighted person, why the hell would you think that it's acceptable to do it to someone who can't see you coming?!?
Seriously, if someone came up to me on the T, from behind, and tried to propel me anywhere half the men on the train would be in that person's face wondering why he was manhandling me. Of course, the rest would turn the page in their book and wonder why it suddenly got harder to concentrate, but that's Boston.
I've been hearing these rants from Emma for awhile and have even been privileged to give a few thoughtless people a head's up in various public situations where she's been grabbed by the elbow (First of all, if someone needs that kind of guidance, they take your arm.) or worse. It's coming closer to home because my father, who doesn't like to be touched, is going blind.
Dad's over 70, but he's a Baptist minister's son. Strangers are not supposed to touch. More than that, he's a college professor and has had it drummed into him that many people could bring lawsuits if he so much as patted them on the back. Lastly, he's a former military officer with Ranger training. I pity the first person who tries to grab him from behind without warning.
So, please, be nice. Offer your seat politely. Ask if someone needs help. And if they say no, accept it politely. Think before touching someone who can't see you coming. Remember, if it's assault on a "normal" person, it's assault on the person you're trying to help, too.
However, when the blind lady doesn't want your seat, it's impolite to insist. As a matter of fact, if you are in a situation where you think someone needs help, ask them.
This is coming up because a friend of mine, whom I'll call Emma for this journal -- those of you who are local will know whom I mean and the rest have a name to hang a story on, came into work today pretty upset. Please understand, Emma's not some frail little flower. She's tall and large. Someone decided that she needed to sit on the T. They didn't ask her. They came up behind her, put their hands on both her shoulders and tried to propel her to a free seat.
Emma screamed bloody murder, as well she should, and heard the age old mantra, "But I was only trying to help."
Think about it. If it could be booked as assault if you did it to a sighted person, why the hell would you think that it's acceptable to do it to someone who can't see you coming?!?
Seriously, if someone came up to me on the T, from behind, and tried to propel me anywhere half the men on the train would be in that person's face wondering why he was manhandling me. Of course, the rest would turn the page in their book and wonder why it suddenly got harder to concentrate, but that's Boston.
I've been hearing these rants from Emma for awhile and have even been privileged to give a few thoughtless people a head's up in various public situations where she's been grabbed by the elbow (First of all, if someone needs that kind of guidance, they take your arm.) or worse. It's coming closer to home because my father, who doesn't like to be touched, is going blind.
Dad's over 70, but he's a Baptist minister's son. Strangers are not supposed to touch. More than that, he's a college professor and has had it drummed into him that many people could bring lawsuits if he so much as patted them on the back. Lastly, he's a former military officer with Ranger training. I pity the first person who tries to grab him from behind without warning.
So, please, be nice. Offer your seat politely. Ask if someone needs help. And if they say no, accept it politely. Think before touching someone who can't see you coming. Remember, if it's assault on a "normal" person, it's assault on the person you're trying to help, too.
