![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Entry tags:
"Struck by Lightning" Thoughts
On Sunday, I spent the day in New York. Mostly, I just walked around mid-town, but I had a good vegan brunch at Blossom and dinner after the movie at Patsy's Pizza, although I actually ate pasta.
In the meantime, I met several great people as I was waiting in line (*waves at Sharon, Danielle, Joan, and Susan*). I also figured out a New York apartment for Rachel, Finn, Kurt, and Blaine in the neighborhood for a story.
As for the movie, I thought it was funny, touching, and well-written and acted. There will be spoilers under the cut -- and it's not really a review, more a reflection on my family from events in the movie.
I find it striking, no pun intended, that I walked out of this movie with a great deal of compassion for my mother (and some for my father as well). There is an incident toward the end of the movie where Carson -- the protagonist -- finds out that his mother has betrayed him and his dream of getting out of a town where cow-tipping is something to do on a Friday night. He is, rightly, furious with her.
My mother did not succeed at college because she could not get an "A" in every class. She dropped out at the end of one semester. My father, who's talked to her in more depth about that part of her life, has told me that she had what used to be called a nervous breakdown from the stress of college. Mom came home, trained as a dental assistant, and kept going.
She knew she wanted out of her small town, and tried to get on the police force (her brother ended up as Sheriff of Stanislaus County) -- which her parents forbade. She finally got a job as a stewardess for United Airlines. Grandmother had a fit, but Mom stood her ground.
The night before she was due to go to training in Cheyenne, her mother slipped and fell hitting her head. When Grandma came to, she informed Mom that she had never heard of her going to stewardess school and forbade it. Mom left the next morning anyway.
Those of you who know me well, know that I don't get on with my mother much. In telling me this story, Mom made it clear that she didn't know whether her mother had genuinely forgotten or was using the accident to her advantage. Since grandmother had several strokes in later life, it's possible that the fall was a result of a TIA. Either way, Mom did what she needed to for her own future.
Mom throve as a stewardess. She later became a trainer herself, and when she married was the Chief Stewardess at United -- and the only woman executive at that time. Of course, she was required to resign as a stewardess when she married; it was still 1960.
I walked out of Struck by Lightning with a better understanding of the type of pressure Mom dealt with. She really was the only one from her year to get out of the town. Even her classmates who went to college -- for most it was an AA, but a few got professional degrees -- came back to the small town to practice their professions.
Dad's last year at NATO, one of the American Generals didn't want to go to a boring formal party in Luxemburg City. It finally landed on Dad's shoulders, and he jumped at the chance. Mom and Dad were presented to the Grand-Duke and Grand-Duchess of Luxemburg at that party, and Mom was thrilled. Most of her classmates didn't traveled much, but Mom got to lead a life away from that -- a life where she got to meet minor royalty.
Dad was a minister's son. They moved to a small city for his last two years of high school, and the pressure on him was never to conform to small-town norms. His father had been the one to break out, and his pressure was college and an honorable profession. There were discussions about whether the military was an honorable profession since Dad's parents were both pacifists, but they accepted his choices.
It was their 52nd wedding anniversary yesterday. Tomorrow, Mom goes for an angiogram which will probably end up as an angioplasty. I hope she'll be all right.
I hope Struck by Lightning finds a domestic distributor. I think it's a quiet film that could be a sleeper hit. As the world becomes more urban, we need to remember the people who stay in small towns by choice and help the people who need to break out find their way. Maybe Carson wouldn't have edited The New Yorker, but I have no doubt that he would have been published by them.
I so wanted the character of Carson
In the meantime, I met several great people as I was waiting in line (*waves at Sharon, Danielle, Joan, and Susan*). I also figured out a New York apartment for Rachel, Finn, Kurt, and Blaine in the neighborhood for a story.
As for the movie, I thought it was funny, touching, and well-written and acted. There will be spoilers under the cut -- and it's not really a review, more a reflection on my family from events in the movie.
I find it striking, no pun intended, that I walked out of this movie with a great deal of compassion for my mother (and some for my father as well). There is an incident toward the end of the movie where Carson -- the protagonist -- finds out that his mother has betrayed him and his dream of getting out of a town where cow-tipping is something to do on a Friday night. He is, rightly, furious with her.
My mother did not succeed at college because she could not get an "A" in every class. She dropped out at the end of one semester. My father, who's talked to her in more depth about that part of her life, has told me that she had what used to be called a nervous breakdown from the stress of college. Mom came home, trained as a dental assistant, and kept going.
She knew she wanted out of her small town, and tried to get on the police force (her brother ended up as Sheriff of Stanislaus County) -- which her parents forbade. She finally got a job as a stewardess for United Airlines. Grandmother had a fit, but Mom stood her ground.
The night before she was due to go to training in Cheyenne, her mother slipped and fell hitting her head. When Grandma came to, she informed Mom that she had never heard of her going to stewardess school and forbade it. Mom left the next morning anyway.
Those of you who know me well, know that I don't get on with my mother much. In telling me this story, Mom made it clear that she didn't know whether her mother had genuinely forgotten or was using the accident to her advantage. Since grandmother had several strokes in later life, it's possible that the fall was a result of a TIA. Either way, Mom did what she needed to for her own future.
Mom throve as a stewardess. She later became a trainer herself, and when she married was the Chief Stewardess at United -- and the only woman executive at that time. Of course, she was required to resign as a stewardess when she married; it was still 1960.
I walked out of Struck by Lightning with a better understanding of the type of pressure Mom dealt with. She really was the only one from her year to get out of the town. Even her classmates who went to college -- for most it was an AA, but a few got professional degrees -- came back to the small town to practice their professions.
Dad's last year at NATO, one of the American Generals didn't want to go to a boring formal party in Luxemburg City. It finally landed on Dad's shoulders, and he jumped at the chance. Mom and Dad were presented to the Grand-Duke and Grand-Duchess of Luxemburg at that party, and Mom was thrilled. Most of her classmates didn't traveled much, but Mom got to lead a life away from that -- a life where she got to meet minor royalty.
Dad was a minister's son. They moved to a small city for his last two years of high school, and the pressure on him was never to conform to small-town norms. His father had been the one to break out, and his pressure was college and an honorable profession. There were discussions about whether the military was an honorable profession since Dad's parents were both pacifists, but they accepted his choices.
It was their 52nd wedding anniversary yesterday. Tomorrow, Mom goes for an angiogram which will probably end up as an angioplasty. I hope she'll be all right.
I hope Struck by Lightning finds a domestic distributor. I think it's a quiet film that could be a sleeper hit. As the world becomes more urban, we need to remember the people who stay in small towns by choice and help the people who need to break out find their way. Maybe Carson wouldn't have edited The New Yorker, but I have no doubt that he would have been published by them.
I so wanted the character of Carson
no subject
I certainly didn't come from a small town, but I understand a bit of your mother's need to "get out." Staten Island was a place I had to leave and is, in some ways, one of the main reasons that I doubt I will ever live in New York again (even though I absolutely love Manhattan). I also have a sense of "restlessness" and, although I've sometimes lived in cities for several years, there can be this driving feeling to "move on."
It's been a very odd experience living in Fresno, where I've been for the past year. I believe that it is bigger than Stanislaus (probably quite a bit bigger), it is still part of that central valley of California. I'm very isolated because I am essentially dealing with what in some ways could be considered the "elite" of the area with my job. However, there is this pervasive sense in the area that people are born here, grow up here, and stay here. As someone who is used to cities with a lot of transplants, it's definitely a different world experience. (Although at my job there are a significant number of transplants, many (like me) who only really expect to be there a few years, and we seem to have an almost bemused take of the city. I think in some ways it because we are not really invested in the place... it's a good place for a little while, but (unless I got a phenomenal job opportunity) I doubt I would stay).
Anyway, probably semi-incoherent thoughts for way too late at night.
I hope your mom is okay.
no subject
It manifested differently in Dorchester, Massachusetts, but it's still there -- the sense that nothing should change for the kids, no matter what the kids might want.
no subject
no subject